


out of time, out of place

by skullkidd



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, Role Swap, Vanven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-25 17:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17125733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skullkidd/pseuds/skullkidd
Summary: Vanven Week 2018. Vanitas/Ventus role swap, BBS canon universe.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully i finish this.  
> Yes, this is my third WIP, and what about it?

_Fragment | Hollow | Muse_

* * *

“Please don’t do this, master! I’m not strong enough!”

He stares up at his mentor, his master, with begging eyes.

The old man doesn’t show him any pity. He watches with cold golden eyes and a sickening smirk as his pupil stands surrounded by monsters bent on his destruction.

“No, it is because you are trying to hold it in. Let the light in you waken in the pit of your heart. Release it, here and now.”

Vanitas looks around at the monsters- the _heartless-_ surrounding him, waiting for any of them to strike. He grips his keyblade tight, trying to hold in his dark impulses enough that the light inside him won’t slip through the cracks.

His master is one of darkness, who picked Vanitas as his pupil because he bore a similar darkness to that of Xehanort’s. Xehanort was an old man who had studied the dark for years, as he’d told Vanitas at the beginning of their mentorship. They’d met by chance, only a few months prior after Vanitas had returned to their world after the aftermath of the Keyblade War had settled. Time passed differently between the worlds, and Vanitas found that what was mere months for him was years in his original world.

Xehanort had found him shortly after, a lost boy seeking guidance in a world he’d only just returned to. He claimed to have chosen Vanitas based on the power Xehanort saw inside of him, but Vanitas always knew it was nothing more than the fact that Xehanort was sickeningly interested in the event that had killed so many of Vanitas’s friends.

He’d been left a hollow shell of himself after the war. Vanitas had always been content living his life in darkness, the light never specifically appealing to him. He knew it was there, he always had, but he was always content to ignore it because he’d always felt his darkness to be stronger than his light. His light was nothing more than a fragment of his entire self, something he hid away from the world in favor of scaring most people away instead. He’d met a few wielders in the Keyblade War who had shown him that the light isn’t weakness, in fact, it could be harnessed and used parallel to his darkness internally. It had never appealed him enough to even try, which is why he ends up where he is now, standing in a circle of Heartless, unable to do a thing to defeat them. Heartless aren’t as susceptible to darkness as they are to light, meaning Vanitas has an unfathomably harder time than his friends when it comes to fighting them. If not for Void Gear, his keyblade, allowing him to harness what little light he possesses, Vanitas would have without a doubt been defeated by a Heartless some time ago.

“If you do not let the light in you awaken, it will wipe you from the face of the world, make no mistake!” Xehanort yells at him from the peak he stands on, pulling Vanitas out of his thoughts. He looks up quickly as Xehanort stares down at him with his striking yellow eyes, sending an anxious ripple through Vanitas’s chest. He knows Xehanort wouldn’t bat an eye if the Heartless surrounding him tore him limb from limb, and he himself wouldn’t really care that much either, especially after losing all his friends, but he knows he’s stronger than that. If anything, Vanitas wants nothing more in this moment than to prove to Xehanort that he doesn’t need to tap into the light inside of him to be strong. He can be strong as he is. If he admits to himself that he’s stronger with the light, then he has to admit to himself that he could have saved his friends, and there’s no way he could accept that. He did all he could. Vanitas may be more dark than light, and he may be a bit of an asshole, but he’ll be _damned_ if he doesn’t care about his friends.

“Do it! Embrace the light! Produce for your master the X-blade!”

That’s all he ever cared about. His stupid X-blade. Vanitas couldn’t care less about it, just like he couldn’t care less about all the useless training Xehanort had been putting him through from the moment Vanitas admitted he’d witnessed the Keyblade war. Vanitas had wanted nothing more than a _friend_ , someone to help him to not have to go through his grief all on his own. He’d lost almost everyone he’d considered a friend, the new Dandelions had fallen apart at the seams, and he’d been framed for the death of his best friend Strelitzia. Escaping that realm was his only option besides facing death by the hand of Strelitzia’s sister, Elrena, and he’d just so happened to fall directly into the hands of someone who he knows wants nothing more than to use him for his own plans.

It’s as Xehanort yells this that one of the Heartless leaps at him, and Vanitas does nothing in the way of stopping it. He screams, because he’s _scared,_ though he knows that dying by the hands of this group of Heartless would be nothing if not blissful.

The Heartless takes him down rather easily, and the group attacks him until he’s nearly faded out of consciousness when suddenly the pain of the attack stops, and Vanitas can just barely hear Xehanort above him as he lays face-down in the dirt, ears ringing.

“Really? You would rather die than use the power? Feckless Neophyte,” Xehanort mutters, kicking Vanitas shamelessly onto his back. He lays there, wanting nothing more than to fade out of consciousness, as Xehanort continues. “If I must, I will extract the light from within you myself.”

It’s at that moment that Vanitas feels a sensation similar to what he’d expect a sharp blade going through his heart would feel like. His eyes fly open, staring at the sky above him, as he sees a bright light surrounding him. It’s not until the feeling stops that Vanitas regains his ability to hear anything, as Xehanort begins to speak again, though this time, Vanitas knows he isn’t the one being spoken to.

“Empty creature from Vanitas riven, to you, the name _Ventus_ shall be given.”

“Yes, master,” a new, unfamiliar voice says, and Vanitas opens his eyes just enough to see a blonde boy standing above him before his eyes droop closed and he fades out of consciousness.

 

* * *

_Better half | Distance | Future_

* * *

 

Vanitas stares at the ground as the man beside him opens the large doors to the castle.

He can hear a few voices speaking as his mentor, Xehanort, walks passed them. A tall,  brown-haired boy approaches him as Xehanort leaves, greeting Vanitas kindly. “I’m Terra. What’s your name?”

It takes Vanitas a few moments to mentally gather himself before forcing the single word out. “Vanitas.” He’s tired, exhausted, drained. He can’t think of anything besides his name. _Vanitas._

“Whew, you can talk,” the guy, Terra, breathes. He turns over his shoulder and calls another person, _Aqua_ , over as well. Vanitas uses far more energy that he should pulling his head up to look at the two of them as aqua approaches.

“Hi, I’m Aqua.”

“Terra. Aqua,” Vanitas repeats, trying to memorize the names. He only knows two. His own and Xehanort’s, though these two seem to be far nicer than his supposed mentor.

He isn’t entirely sure, though. He can’t remember anything before a few minutes prior to arriving at this place, after Xehanort introduced himself and told Vanitas his name. He doesn’t know anything else, so latching onto the names _Terra and Aqua_ seem to be far more important to him than they should.

The two of them begin bombarding him with questions, and the more they ask, the more Vanitas feels as though his brain is going to burst.

“So, are you here to train with us?” _I don’t know why I’m here. I just am._

“Where are you from?” _I don’t know._

“Who was that man with you?” _I don’t know._

“You good with a Keyblade?” _I don’t know!_

He can’t think of any answer to any of their questions, and he ends up getting so overwhelmed that he can’t do anything but drop to his knees and scream.

“What did you do?!” He hears Xehanort demand as he sits on his knees, hands covering his ears to block out the questions that don’t seem to stop.

“Nothing!” Terra says, defensively. “I- I just asked him some stuff!”

Vanitas allows Xehanort to pull him into his arms, and Vanitas allows it despite wanting to shove him away and run as fast as he can away from everyone. It’s as though the room is spinning, and he can’t find a single thing to anchor onto.

“Vanitas cannot tell you anything, because he does not remember anything.”

He manages to open his eyes at that moment, to look up at Terra and Aqua’s concerned glances. He isn’t sure why, but something in him is telling him that, despite knowing nothing but his name, he can trust these two.

 

* * *

 

Ventus sits in the Keyblade Graveyard, staring out at the masses of Keyblades who had lost their wielders in the war all those years ago.

He’s a new soul, barely a few years old, but he knows about the war. Vanitas had experienced it firsthand, and the moment they were split, his memories latched onto Ventus. He wasn’t sure why, perhaps it was how weak Vanitas had been in that moment, but the memories of the Keyblade War that Ventus hadn’t had a single part of haunted him with guilt and grief. Vanitas had always had self-doubts about suppressing the light within him, despite it being desperate to help him.

Ventus often found himself resenting Vanitas for being too weak to save his friends. Had the two of them been split before the war, Ventus could have done what Vanitas hadn’t. He could have embraced the light as it should be embraced, and quite possibly saved all of Vanitas’s friends. He could have saved Strelitzia. He could have saved Vanitas from himself.

He summons his Keyblade into his hand and studies it for a moment, before tossing it away angrily. He isn’t sure why he’s even able to wield one; Vanitas still has his, as far as Ventus is aware. He hadn’t seen his better half since the day the two were separated.

 _Better half_ is the way Ventus had always referred to Vanitas in his own head. He knows that, without Vanitas, he would have never been able to be alive, but Vanitas had always steered closer to the side of darkness than light, being comprised of more of what Ventus didn’t even have a trace of. After being a part of someone who valued darkness so much more than light, Ventus was always plagued by the thought that darkness is superior, it had to be. Why else would Vanitas want to suppress the light?

There was always distance between the two. Ventus hadn’t seen Vanitas since the day the two were split, but the black haired and golden eyed boy’s appearance had been burned into Ventus’s brain forever. He often finds himself longing to be back with him, feeling nothing but incomplete by the separation. That, and disdain for the boy who was living with no awareness that Ventus even exists, which is completely unfair in it’s own right. He doesn’t deserve this misery when he’s been nothing but kind and good his entire life. He’s always seen the light as a weakness, longing for the darkness that his mentor and his better half both possess, but not having a single ounce of it in his body forces him to accept himself the way he is, despite the longing feeling it always causes.

“Were you waiting for me?”

Ventus looks up to see Xehanort standing above him, and he jumps to his feet, summoning Wayward Wind back into his hand. “I finished my training for the day. You said I could… Come with you. To their world.”

“Yes, I did promise you that, didn’t I?” Xehanort muses, causing an uneasy feeling in Ventus’s chest. “I’m just not sure you’re ready-”

“I am ready!” Ventus says, though he winces when he sees a flash of anger in Xehanort’s eyes, instantly receding into his respectful demeanor in order to avoid another punishment. “I want to see them. Please, Master. I’m ready.”

“You really think you have what it takes to defeat a being of pure darkness?” Xehanort asks, though it’s undeniably mocking, which sends a chill down Ventus’s spine. “You know that you must be at least twice as strong as he is in order to be able to fight him. The X-Blade cannot be forged unless the two of you are at equal power.”

Ventus nods, looking down at the ground. “I know. I could… I could test it though, right? You said one of them was going to fall to darkness soon. Couldn’t I fight him? See how I do?”

“And if he defeats you? You’re weak, Ventus. Any of those three could defeat you. However, I do believe that fighting Terra could help you grow stronger. So, as long as you think you’re up to the task, you may come.”

Ventus’s face lights up immediately, though he knows Xehanort isn’t the type to want a thank you. Instead, he just nods. “When are we going?”

 

* * *

_Illusion | Hope | Monster_

* * *

 

“A meteor shower!”

Vanitas jumps off his bed, running outside to see the show from outside in the clearing where he spars with Terra and Aqua. He rushes down just in time to see a few shooting stars pass overhead, laying down in the grass. Just as he lays down, he sees a face leaning over him, instantly sitting up from shock.

“Vanitas, you hopeless sleepyhead.”

He rolls his eyes as he sits on his knees. “I didn’t hear you coming.”

“I saw you leaving your room,” she admits as she sits next to him. “I was up late training for the exam tomorrow. I’ve been worried about you, you know.”

Vanitas sits next to her, staring down at his feet. Aqua always worries, it’s unavoidable, but Vanitas wishes she wouldn’t because whenever she worries he nearly breaks and exposes himself just to stop her from finding out herself.

He discovered fairly quickly that he’s not the kind of person who belongs in the Land of Departure. During one of his first lessons after regaining enough strength after arriving here, he discovered his lack of internal light. Aqua and Terra, being Keyblade Wielders of Light, had always been more than welcoming to Vanitas from the day he’d arrived in their world, but the way Eraqus speaks of darkness made it apparent from the start that Vanitas would not be welcome under his care if he knew the truth. Vanitas has no idea where he comes from, but he knows he lacks the light than Aqua and Terra have been working so hard to train with. He sees them as a family, but the knowledge in the back of his head that Eraqus would kill him without a second thought if he knew Vanitas was harboring so much darkness inside of him makes it hard for him to feel at home here.

“You don’t have anything to worry about,” he says, trying to keep his voice from shaking. He knows that Aqua and Terra have been training so hard for this, and he doesn’t want to expose himself this close to their big day. He’s always planned to tell them as soon as they’re masters who could help him against Eraqus, should the secret come out, but tonight is not the time. Just one more day is all he needs, after years of hiding himself to his friends. One more day.

It’s at that moment that Terra approaches, probably having seen them from his window. “Thought I saw you two out here,” Terra says with a soft smile. “Anyone up for a little sparring?”

“I just finished training,” Aqua says, with a glance at Vanitas. “Why don’t you two go?”

Vanitas hops to his feet, hoping that sparring with Terra will help him train just a little bit more for the exam in the morning. He pulls out Void Gear and gets ready, letting Terra lunge at him first.

It’s fun for a few moments, until Vanitas’s usual problems when it comes to sparring start to arise. He loves sparring with them, but every time he does, the darkness within him begins to swell, begging for a chance to come to the surface. He’s always been good at burying it, but that suppression of power has always made him seem extraordinarily weak in the eyes of Eraqus and his two best friends.

He knows Terra and Aqua see him as a weak child, and he knows they’re wrong, but there isn’t a thing he can do about it without admitting that he’s been lying to them this whole time. He’s a creature of darkness, he doesn’t belong here with them, and he resents the person who left him in his amnesiac, though he doesn’t remember who it is, and nobody will ever tell him no matter how many times he asks.

Terra takes him down easily, which is normal for their sparring, though it ignites frustration in Vanitas so strong that he has to dig his nails into his palms to stop from screaming in frustration. _Just one more day._

“You’re getting better, Vanitas,” Terra says, offering his hand to help him stand. He takes it, getting to his feet stand staring at the spot he’d been sitting.

“Thanks,” he says simply, trying to will the darkness to stop trying to make him slash his Keyblade across Terra’s face. “You’re gonna kill it at the exam tomorrow if you fight like that,” he says, looking up as Aqua approaches. “Both of you are.”

“Let’s hope so,” Aqua says with a smile as she ruffles Vanitas’s hair. “But just in case, I made us good luck charms.”

She takes out three star-shaped charms, handing an orange one to Terra and a red one to Vanitas. “They’re called Wayfinders, and they represent an unbreakable connection. As long as we each carry them with us, we’ll never be apart again.”

Vanitas stares down at it, wishing more than anything to be able to feel any sort of joy over it. He wants to, more than anything, but all he feels is sad. Sad that he can’t share the same experiences Terra and Aqua have because he’s nothing more than a shadow with a heart, living a false life without a single memory of anything else. He’s an illusion of nothingness, a monster, and he fears that’s all he will be.

Terra and Aqua often walk eggshells around him. Aqua had approached him once with concern of depression, but Vanitas just shrugged her off. He never wanted either of them to worry, because he knows as soon as they know the truth, they’ll either fully accept him or send him away forever, and as much as he would love the former, he fears it’s the latter that he’ll end up having to face after the two of them are undoubtedly named Masters come the morning.

“An unbreakable connection,” Vanitas repeats, staring at the red Wayfinder in his hands.

_I really hope so._


	2. Chapter 2

_ Fear | Memories | Remnant _

 

* * *

 

“Today you will be examined for the mark of mastery.”

Vanitas stands tall, respectful, as Eraqus speaks to Aqua and Terra. He glances over at their guest, Master Xehanort, the same man who had saved Vanitas from whomever had left him comatose all those years ago. He stopped resenting whoever it was, because their actions had led him to Terra and Aqua, but he does often wonder about what his life was like before he’d had his memories stolen from him.

Master Xehanort was a man who gave him an uneasy feeling in his chest. The only thing he knows about him is that he’d been the one to find Vanitas near death after being stripped of his memories, but besides that, the man makes him uneasy. He’d been staring at Vanitas with a strange interest since he’d arrived, and Vanitas couldn’t figure out exactly why. He’d be lying if he claimed that he hadn’t noticed their identical eye colour, but he couldn’t do anything about that except chalk it up to coincidence. He makes a conscious effort to avoid looking at the man in order to focus solely on Terra and Aqua.

“Not one, but two of the Keyblade’s chosen stand here as candidates. This is neither a competition, nor a battle for supremacy. Not a test of wills, but a test of heart. Both of you may prevail, or neither. But I’m sure our guest, Master Xehanort, did not travel all this way just to see our two youngest prospects in years fall short of the mark.”

Just the name  _ Master Xehanort  _ gives Vanitas an uneasy feeling in his chest. Just the sight of those golden eyes makes Vanitas feel anxious.  _ Is that what people feel when they look at me? _

“I trust you are ready,” Eraqus says.

“Yes,” Terra and Aqua say in unison, and Vanitas’s anxiety skyrockets. He takes a long, shaky breath as Eraqus summons his Keyblade.

“Then let the examination begin.”

Eraqus summons multiple balls of light into the room surrounding Aqua and Terra, but as soon as they’re summoned, they become surrounded by dark shadows. Aqua and Terra both gasp, and Vanitas’s hand flies to his chest.  _ So that’s manifested darkness… _

He takes a step forward in an attempt to get a closer look, as one of the balls flies towards him. He reaches out a hand, curious, until he realizes that it’s about to attack him. In one swift moment he pulls out his Keyblade and strikes it, sending it away, though it sends a sad feeling into his chest.  _ If only I could study it… _

He knows that isn’t possible, though. There’s no way he could get close enough to the darkness surrounding Eraqus’s orbs of light without interfering with the exam and arousing suspicion, but even still, the orbs continue to draw towards him. He isn’t sure why, perhaps it’s his own darkness pulling them in, but he has no choice but to destroy them one by one, feeling more and more defeated with each one gone.

“Vanitas, are you okay?” Aqua calls, and he glances at her, forcing a smile.

“Don’t worry about me!” He calls, wearing a false grin as he narrows his eyes at the orbs of light surrounded by shadows. “You two focus on the exam!”

“Vani, you’re in danger here. Go wait in your room!” Aqua says, and Vanitas shakes his head.

“No way, I’ve been looking forward to this. Seeing you two become masters… I’m not gonna miss it now!”

“He can take care of himself,” Terra says. “He’s been out there training just as hard as us.”

“Terra, you know he’s not-”

“I’m fine!” Vanitas cuts Aqua off, not wanting to hear the rest of what she’s about to say. “Stay sharp, guys!”

Aqua and Terra get to fighting the orbs, which seem to have lost their interest in Vanitas, save for one, which floats towards him slowly, as if gravitating. Vanitas feels the darkness inside of him start to stir as the ball gets closer and closer, choosing not to attack it, but hold his hand out again instead. His hand begins to shroud in a similar dark shadow to the ones infecting Eraqus’s orbs of light, and he’s about to make contact with it until suddenly he feels eyes boring into him, jumping back and looking over to meet Xehanort’s narrowed golden eyes and sickening smirk. Vanitas groans, slashing it away with Void Gear, before glaring back at Xehanort.  _ What do you want with me?! _

Terra and Aqua finish destroying the orbs rather quickly, standing in front of Eraqus respectfully upon finishing. “That was unexpected, but one must keep a still heart even in the most trying of circumstances. It was an interesting test, one that I chose to let unfold. Which brings us to your next trial.”

Vanitas raises an concerned eyebrow, his heart racing.  _ Relax, they’re doing fine. _

“Now, Terra and Aqua, the two of you must face each other in combat. Remember, there are no winners, only truths, for when equal powers clash, their nature is revealed.”

Terra and Aqua both enter a fighting stance, just as Eraqus calls “begin!”

They rush forward, Keyblades clashing, sending a chill down Vanitas’s spine, as though something bad is about to happen. He clenches his fist, watching them fight, until he realizes something worrying. Terra’s hand begins to become shrouded in the same dark shadow that the orbs and Vanitas’s own hand had done before, and Vanitas feels his chest tighten.  _ That can’t be right. _

His instinctual reaction is to glance at Xehanort, who’s staring at Terra with a sickening smirk across his wrinkly face. Vanitas’s heart begins to burn, as he watches Aqua and Terra fight, until Eraqus tells them they can stop.

He and Xehanort leave the room as Terra and Aqua stand side by side, waiting. It’s not until the door closes behind them that Vanitas rushes forward. “Terra, are you okay?”

“What do you mean?” Terra asks, though Vanitas knows he knows  _ exactly  _ what he means.

“You… You were-”

“I’m fine, Vanitas,” Terra snaps. Vanitas can see the concern in his eyes, though, and he sighs.  _ The darkness isn’t all bad, Terra. It can be good. I’m good, right? Darkness and evil aren’t the same, they can’t be. _

_ Who would that make me? _

He’s about to say something, but it’s at that moment that Eraqus and Xehanort return, and Vanitas steps back to his place at the side of the room. “We have deliberated and reached a decision.”

Vanitas can feel his heart pounding in his chest as he waits. It feels like years before Eraqus speaks again. “Terra, Aqua you both performed commendably. However, only Aqua has shown the Mark of Mastery.”

Vanitas’s heart sinks and Terra’s jaw drops.

“Terra, you failed to keep the darkness within you sufficiently in check. But there is always next time. That is all. Aqua, as our newest Keyblade Master, you are entitled to certain knowledge. Please wait here for further instruction.”

Eraqus and Xehanort leave, leaving Vanitas alone with Aqua and Terra. Aqua turns to Terra, reaching a hand out. “Hey…”

“Terra, I’m sorry,” Vanitas says, rushing forward to Terra to try and comfort him.

“The darkness… Where did it come from?” Terra whispers, mostly to himself, but it sends a feeling of frustration into Vanitas’s chest that he can’t hold down anymore.

“The darkness isn’t bad,” Vanitas says, flatly, though his heart begins to feel like it’s going to pound out of his chest as soon as he says it.

“What are you talking about, Vanitas?” Aqua asks, and Vanitas bites the inside of his cheek before speaking.

“I- I don’t think that darkness is as bad as Master Eraqus says it is,” he says, but he knows there’s nothing he can say to make what he’d just said sound any less worse.

“You don’t mean that,” Aqua says, looking genuinely hurt, and Vanitas shakes his head.

“I do mean it. I don’t think evil and darkness have to go hand in hand, and honestly, if you two can’t see that either, then I don’t think  _ either  _ of you deserve to be masters.”

He isn’t sure where the malice had come from, but Aqua not immediately agreeing with him had sent him into an instant downward spiral.

“Vanitas, you can’t mean that-” Aqua starts, but Vanitas cuts her off.

“What if  _ I  _ had darkness in my heart? Would you hate me? Would you not want to be my friend anymore?!” Vanitas demands, his emotions completely taking him over as he lets out everything he’d bottled up for the past 4 years spill out. “What if I wasn’t at all who you’ve thought I was since we  _ met?” _

“What are you talking about?” Terra asks, speaking for the first time and looking almost  _ hopeful.  _ Aqua reaches a hand out to put onto Vanitas’s shoulder, but he pulls away, his hands shrouding in darkness that he can’t hold back no matter how hard he tries, and both of his friends notice instantly.

“Vanitas, what…” Aqua starts, but her voice trails off as she stares at Vanitas in shock.

“I guess now you know,” he says, looking down at his hands before clenching them into fists and turning to storm off, ignoring Aqua and Terra calling after him.

 

* * *

 

“What do you make of Vanitas?”

Ventus’s head shoots up to look at Xehanort standing in front of him, before his eyes immediately fall back to the ground. “I’m not sure. He seems strong. Stronger than me.”

“That’s because he’s been training his darkness for hundreds of years, despite him not remembering. Your powers have been suppressed for just as long, you just need a little more training, and he needs just a little more disheartening.”

“What do you mean?” Ventus questions, and Xehanort sends him a ghastly smile.

“We need to break his spirit, but not here. I have a job for you, Ventus. But first, I must speak with Terra.”

 

* * *

 

Vanitas sits in his room, staring up at the roof, thinking.

_ Will they come for me? _

_ Will they exile me? Kill me? _

_ What if they tell Master Eraqus? _

He jumps up just as he hears the warning bells begin to ring, rushing to the door to see what the commotion is.

“You need to hurry.”

Vanitas whips around, summoning Void Gear into his hands and holding it out instinctively. “Who are you?!”

The boy, a short, blonde kid whose face sends a pang into Vanitas’s heart, looks at him with sad eyes. “Terra’s leaving. He knows who you are, and now that he’s failed his test, he has no reason to stay here. You’ll never see him again if you don’t stop him now.”

“What are you talking about?” Vanitas demands, though for some reason he feels compelled to believe this kid he’s never seen before. “Terra and I will always be a team. He’d never leave me behind.”

_ Or maybe he would.  _ He knows the truth now, after all. Who’s to say he wouldn’t feel betrayed enough to leave?

_ I can’t let that happen.  _ If Vanitas could only speak to him, convince him that Eraqus is wrong, that darkness doesn’t make you an evil person…

“He’s leaving, Vanitas. He doesn’t care about you, not now that he knows your secret. Are you gonna let him run away from everything like that? And besides, what if Eraqus finds out your little secret? You think he’s gonna let you stay here?”

The boy turns, walking passed Vanitas and out of his room, and Vanitas feels compelled to follow him, but Terra’s more important.

He rushes down to the clearing just in time to see Terra transforming into his armor, and taking off into a portal on his Keyblade. He drops to his knees as he watches him disappear, then takes a determined breath, standing and transforming himself.

He’d never transformed into his Keyblade Armor before, but he follows what he’d just seen Terra do, and it works. His Keyblade transforms as well, and he steps onto it, flying off just as he hears Aqua calling after him.

“Wait, Vanitas!”

 

* * *

 

“I just don’t understand why I had to lie.”

Ventus stares at the ground, feeling emptier than he’s ever felt. Those few moments in the room with Vanitas had made him feel more happy than he ever had before, just being that close to the half of him he’d been longing for for  _ years.  _ It’s as though he just had to reach out a hand and touch him, and he could feel okay again. Ventus hadn’t known joy in years. He’d known sadness, loneliness, melancholy. He’d known fear and anguish and pain, and the closest he’d ever come to stepping over the line of misery was standing those few feet away from the other half of himself that didn’t even know who he was.

Xehanort sighs, glancing at Ventus and summoning another Heartless for him to fight. “Vanitas wants so desperately for Terra to believe that the darkness isn’t something for him to have to bury. We needed him to leave his home for him to become stronger. He hasn’t progressed since he’s been there, suppressing his abilities. You both need to become strong if you’re to forge the X-blade. You’ll never reunite until it is forged, Ventus.”

Ventus sighs, taking out another Heartless as if it’s nothing. He’s been training hard,  _ so  _ hard for years, but Xehanort still claims that Vanitas is stronger. He doesn’t know how that could be if he’s been working every day for years and Vanitas had been suppressing his own abilities for just as long.  _ It just isn’t possible. _

He can’t find it in himself to think Xehanort could by lying to him. The man is his creator, the only companion Ventus has ever had in his life. He believes in his heart that Xehanort cares for him, he just shows it in his discipline and harshness. Xehanort was always the tough love type, and his waves upon waves of Heartless he’d send on Ventus to fight were just him wanting Ventus to be the best he can be, that’s all. He’d always been honest, telling Ventus that he’s not strong enough, not good enough. Ventus had never wanted anything except to prove himself worthy to Xehanort, to prove he’s strong enough to fight Vanitas. But Vanitas was always stronger. Vanitas was always  _ better.  _ If Ventus had an ounce of darkness in his heart, his despair for validation could have easily turned to contempt. Instead it remained as desperation to impress his master so he can finally take on his other half, his remnant, and become whole again.

Living with Vanitas’s dark memories while being devoid of darkness made Ventus sadder than anything. He couldn’t feel anger, he could barely feel grief, despite being absolutely miserable living with memories of Vanitas watching friend after friend perish in the war. He’s forced to live every day knowing that holding the light Vanitas had so desperately refused to allow to the surface means he’s the sole reason those people perished in the first place, at least, according to Xehanort. Which is why forging the X-blade became Ventus’s one and only mission; if he becomes strong enough to fight Vanitas with equal force, Vanitas will  _ have  _ to accept him. Right?

“I’m sorry. I understand now.”

Xehanort nods, summoning yet another Heartless.

Ventus, exhausted, fights it.


	3. Chapter 3

It’s three worlds Vanitas travels through before he finds a trace of Terra.

He’d travelled to two worlds already, though he realized rather quickly that there’s more issues surrounding the worlds than Vanitas’s own internal struggles.

Small monsters- Unversed, he’d heard them be called- of various kinds litter every world he visits, and it’s as though no matter how many he destroys, more seem to pop up. He’s encountered Heartless before, but these monsters seem… Different.

It’s in a dimly lit castle in a world called Enchanted Dominion that Vanitas runs into a tall woman in a black coat that falls to her feet, sporting two large horns from her head, making him incredibly uneasy on sight.

“There’s no way Terra would hurt somebody like that!”

“You don’t believe me? That’s unfortunate, for he agreed so easily,” the woman, Maleficent as she’d introduced herself, says from her position on the wall above Vanitas. She’d informed him that the woman he’d seen in a deep slumber, Aurora, had fallen into her sleep because Terra had stolen her heart on Maleficent’s orders.

“He did?” Vanitas breathes, looking down at the ground.

“The darkness does confusing things to those who don’t know how to control it, for those who fear it,” she says, and Vanitas’s head whips up to look at her. “What do you mean?! The darkness is something you control, not something that controls you.”

“Are you sure about that?” she asks, and Vanitas feels that similar chill down his spine from when he’d seen Xehanort studying him. “If one remains scared of the powers the darkness can bring, then it takes a hold of their heart, sending them down a path to evil. It’s people like you and I who are able to harness it and use it for our own purposes.”

“What purposes could I possibly have for using the darkness? I’m not evil, I’m nothing like you!” Vanitas snaps, summoning Void Gear, and the woman laughs in his face.

“The darkness is tempting if nothing else, and you’ll see. The longer you suppress it, the more it will begin to take hold of you and pull you into its clutches. Accept your power, child, stop being so weak for the sake of those who don’t understand you the way I do.”

Vanitas pauses for a moment, pensive.

“They’ll understand. I know they will.”

“Really? Because your friend Terra had a lot to say about how appalling he finds the darkness, and how he wishes to vanquish it from his own heart,” Maleficent says, sending a burning feeling into Vanitas’s heart. That was his worst fear- Terra and Aqua finding out about his secret and seeing him as evil, a villain. He’d always believed the three of them would be inseparable, but the blonde boy who’d appeared in his room did say Terra left because of him…

“He’s just going off what he’s been taught. If I could just talk to him-”

“The defenders of light will never change their ways, boy. Embrace the darkness, it will bring you nothing but relief, I promise you.”

Vanitas doesn’t respond. There’s a war raging in his brain between knowing Terra well enough to know that stealing a girl’s heart and turning against Vanitas so quickly isn’t something he would do, but also knowing that Terra had been raised on the belief that the light is superior to everything else.

_ I need to talk to Terra. _

_ I can get him to understand if I can just- _

“Vanitas! Don’t be fooled!”

He turns around to see Aqua running towards him, summoning Void Gear quickly, for reasons he isn’t even sure. She looks shocked, and visibly disheartened. “What are you doing?”

“I could ask you the same,” he says. “Why did you follow me?”

“The master sent me. You ran away, he’s worried about you.”

“Worried?” Vanitas asks, a little surprised by the statement. Could it be possible that he didn’t know? That Aqua hadn’t told him after he’d followed Terra?

She holds a hand out, though it’s weary. She looks like she’s ready to pull back at the slightest sign of darkness, and it’s this that makes Vanitas weary of her in return. Would she really be that willing to bring a creature of darkness back to her home? “Let’s go home.”

He stares at her hand before taking a step back. “Not until I find Terra. I need to make him understand.”

“Understand what?” Aqua asks.

“That the darkness doesn’t make you evil. Not if you can control it.”

Aqua stares at him for a few moments, his heart pounding until she speaks up finally. “Where did this all come from? When did the darkness take a hold of your heart like this? How could this happen?”

He sighs, looking down at the ground. “I’ve always been this way, for as long as I can remember. I didn’t ever want to admit it because I was scared you’d react just like you are now.”

“I’m not-” she starts, but Vanitas doesn’t want to hear it.

“You  _ are.  _ You’re acting as if darkness makes you some evil mastermind, but it  _ doesn’t.  _ You’ve known me for years, Aqua. Do you think  _ I’m  _ evil?”

She stares at him for a few moments, but her silence speaks a thousand words. Vanitas exhales once, sharply, as he turns on his heels and storms off, ignoring Aqua calling after him.  _ Screw her. Terra will understand, if only I could talk to him. _

_ Where are you, Terra? _

He takes off through the corridors of the castle, slashing countless Unversed as he runs and biting down on the inside of his cheek until he’s stripped enough layers off that he can’t stand the pain anymore. It’s at that point he lets a tear fall, and one turns into a hundred and suddenly he’s collapsing against the wall of some random corridor of a castle he’s a stranger to. He cries into his knees as he thinks of his friends, Master Eraqus, and the blonde boy who seems to know more about himself than he does. He wonders if he should have just kept his mouth shut, if the pain of hiding his true self to his friends would be worse than clinging to the hope that if he can just find Terra before he falls into the darkness’s clutches instead of the other way around. He’d deemed Aqua a lost cause, cursing himself for being stupid enough to think that a Keyblade Master would accept a creature devoid of light. He’s an outcast, a monster, and that’s all he ever will be to Aqua.

He cries for what feels like forever until he can’t cry anymore, wiping his face off and getting to his feet before opening a corridor to the Lanes Between, changing into his armor and taking off again on his search for Terra, his last hope.

It’s in the lanes between that he sees the familiar outfit of the blonde boy who’d appeared in his room a few days before. “Him again,” Vanitas mutters to himself before redirecting his course and taking off after him.

He arrives at a dusty world covered in rocks and sand, flying around in an attempt to spot the boy before landing and looking around on foot.

“Where’s he hiding?” Vanitas whispers to himself, until he feels a pair of eyes on his back and whips around to see the blonde boy standing there. “You. Did Terra really leave because of me?”

The boy pauses, eyes darting to the ground anxiously, before he speaks. “Yes.”

His voice shakes, and Vanitas isn’t sure as to why, but he’s frustrated by the boy’s seeming uncertainty that his fist begins to shroud in the same dark smoke that he’s slowly becoming all too familiar with.

“That’s your darkness?” The boy asks, taking a step forward and reaching his hand out as if to try to touch it. Vanitas pulls his hand back, summoning Void Gear to the boy’s neck, who just stares back at him with dead eyes. “I just wanted to touch it. To feel it. It’s… Comforting.”

Vanitas doesn’t respond. He holds a stoic glare at the boy, who stares right back, until he steps away from Vanitas and sighs again. “The Master says we can’t fight. You have to put that away.”

“The Master? You know Master Eraqus?” Vanitas asks, and the blonde boy shakes his head.

“My Master. Xehanort.”

Vanitas’s grip tightens on his Keyblade. “You’re training under Master Xehanort?” The boy nods and Vanitas readies himself for a fight, being filled with a sudden, unexplainable surge of anger. “Then tell me, why does he seem so invested in the lives of me and my friends? Why did he send you to spy on me?”

“We’re always meant to be together,” the boy says, eyes dragging painfully slowly to Vanitas’s face. “We have to fight. But not here… Not now.”

Vanitas’s face contorts into rage, as he lashes forward with Void Gear, only to be carelessly stopped by the blonde boy’s Keyblade which he’d managed to materialize before Vanitas could even blink. “Please don’t try to fight me, Vanitas. He’ll be angry.”

“I don’t care if he’ll be angry. I need answers,” Vanitas says, lashing out again, but again he’s stopped so  _ carelessly  _ by this kid without a single emotion except exhaustion reflecting in his eyes.

“I already told you,” the boy says, seemingly putting in no effort whatsoever to hold off Vanitas’s attacks.  _ Am I really that rusty?  _ “Terra doesn’t want to accept the darkness. He doesn’t want to accept you. But I will. And I only hope maybe one day… You can accept me, too. You just need to keep going. Keep defeating Unversed, and you’ll get stronger, and then we can finally be together again.”

“What are you talking about?!” Vanitas demands, clashing one last time with the boy who easily knocks Void Gear out of his hands, tossing it away to the side, but not retaliating.  _ This kid really doesn’t want to fight, huh? _

The boy sends his Keyblade away, holding his hands up to his head. “It hurts… Having everything in my head, feeling nothing but despair and  _ guilt  _ over something I had no part of. You don’t realize how lucky you are, going around as if your worst problem is your friend thinking you’re  _ dangerous.  _ I’ve been training for years to become as strong as you but all I’m allowed to do is run around fighting your friends while you mope around because you’re made of  _ darkness.  _ I’d give  _ anything  _ to switch places with you, I envy you so badly and all you can do is cry about how tough you have it. You have no  _ idea  _ what it’s like to hate yourself for things you can’t even control! And it’s  _ your  _ fault!”

The boy drops to his knees, and Vanitas just watches in shock, without a single clue as to what’s going on. “Are you-” he starts, reaching a hand forward, but as soon as he makes contact with the boy he feels a thousand emotions running through him at a staggering speed, until he’s forced to recoil with tears brimming in his eyes for reasons he can’t fathom.

“You win,” the boy whispers, voice broken. “I’ll get stronger. I have to get stronger…” His voice trails off, though Vanitas can hear his desperate tone clear as day. The boy gets to his feet slowly, opening a portal to the lanes between before casting a glance at Vanitas over his shoulder. “We’ll be together soon.”

With that, he steps into the portal, leaving Vanitas without a clue as to what just happened.

 

* * *

 

Ventus steps back off at the Badlands after a long ride through the lanes between.

Xehanort stands in his usual training spot, waiting. Ventus drops off his Keyblade to land in front of his Master, who stand silent for an excruciatingly long amount of time before slashing Ventus quickly across his forehead. Ventus squeezes his eyes shut and clenches his fists to keep from yelping out in pain, having to steady his breathing before speaking.

“I’m sorry. I told him I didn’t want to fight-”

“I don’t want to hear your apologies,” Master Xehanort says, as Ventus’s head begins to feel hazy, blood dripping down into his eyes from his wound. “I told you that you are not to see him without my permission, and you did just that.”

“But he followed me here-”

“No matter,” Xehanort says, cutting Ventus off and forcing the blonde to slam his jaw closed. “I needed to see him regardless. Our plans are ready to move into the next phase. When the two of you clashed, it sent a ripple through this world, causing Kingdom Hearts to stir. I believe that means you two are nearly ready to move into the final phase, clashing in order to forge the X-blade. But there is one more thing I must do first, which means I need you to lure Vanitas back here again. Do you think you can do that?”

Ventus sighs, his vision beginning to sway. He steadies himself before he falls to the ground, pressing a hand to his bleeding wound. “Yes.”

 

* * *

 

_ Vanitas, meet me at the Keyblade Graveyard. Please. _

Vanitas jumps at the voice. It’s as if it’s in his own head. He recognizes it as the blonde boy who continues popping up no matter where he is, and he has no idea why. He changes course immediately, though, for some reason feeling like he should go see him. He doesn’t know why he feels so connected to this weird boy who seems fascinated with him, but he heeds the request anyway.

Vanitas arrives at the Keyblade Graveyard searching for the blonde boy, but instead sees only Master Xehanort standing in the clearing. He drops from his Keyblade, changing from his armor to his normal outfit as he glares at Xehanort from across the clearing.

“We meet again, boy.”

“You. Where is the blonde kid? Your apprentice, did you hurt him?”

“Ventus is fine, not to worry,” Xehanort says with a lazy wave, and the name sends a chill down Vanitas’s spine.  _ Ventus. Who is he?  _ “I asked him to call you here, as he is the only one able to communicate with you.”

“What do you mean?” Vanitas demands. “That kid, Ventus. Who is he?”

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Xehanort says.

“Tell me, Master Xehanort-!” Vanitas demands, though saying the name Xehanort as well as staring him in the eyes causes Vanitas’s eyes to fly open, as images come flooding through his mind.

_ “Please don’t do this, master! I’m not strong enough!” _

_ He stares up at his mentor, his master, with begging eyes. _

_ The old man doesn’t show him any pity. He watches with cold golden eyes and a sickening smirk as his pupil stands surrounded by monsters bent on his destruction. _

_ “No, it is because you are trying to hold it in. Let the light in you waken in the pit of your heart. Release it, here and now.” _

Vanitas’s hands fly to his head as he drops to his knees, screaming. It hurts, physically and mentally, as the images- his  _ memories _ \- flood back into his head.  _ Master Xehanort… He was my mentor. Why did he hurt me? What did he do? _

“I see you are starting to realize,” Xehanort says as he takes a few steps towards Vanitas, “all that you have lost.”

It’s at that point that one very specific memory floods into Vanitas’s head. 

_ “Really? You would rather die than use the power? Feckless Neophyte,” Xehanort mutters, kicking Vanitas shamelessly onto his back. He lays there, wanting nothing more than to fade out of consciousness, as Xehanort continues. “If I must, I will extract the light from within you myself.” _

_ It’s at that moment that Vanitas feels a sensation similar to what he’d expect a sharp blade going through his heart would feel like. His eyes fly open, staring at the sky above him, as he sees a bright light surrounding him. It’s not until the feeling stops that Vanitas regains his ability to hear anything, as Xehanort begins to speak again, though this time, Vanitas knows he isn’t the one being spoken to. _

_ “Empty creature from Vanitas riven, to you, the name Ventus shall be given.” _

_ “Yes, master,” a new, unfamiliar voice says, and Vanitas opens his eyes just enough to see a blonde boy standing above him before his eyes droop closed and he fades out of consciousness. _

Vanitas drops his head to the ground as he screams.

_ Ventus. He comes from me. _

The pain becomes unbearable to the point where Vanitas feels like he’s going to pass out, tears spilling from his eyes as he remembers the pain of his light being ripped out of his body and formed into its own person. He remembers Xehanort leaving him for dead before realizing that he could be  _ useful.  _ Is the only reason he’s still alive because Master Xehanort thinks he can be  _ useful? _

The pain subsides slowly, as Vanitas’s breathing becomes heavy, cheeks soaked with tears as Xehanort continues. “You remember what you’ve lost, now, reach out and reclaim it. Clash with him, pure light against pure darkness to forge the ultimate key. The all powerful X-blade!”

The pain returns, one sharp wave, sending Vanitas to the ground. He’s essentially incapacitated as his eyes threaten to close. “Key… blade?” He whispers, staring at the ground with dead eyes.

“X-blade. An all-powerful, legendary weapon with the power to bring all endings.”

“And I have the power to make it?” he asks, his heart sinking. All he is, all he ever has been is a puppet. He’s only alive because of Xehanort, and he’s never had the freedom to make his own choices because Xehanort has been controlling his entire life from before Vanitas could even remember.

“Correct. Eraqus knows it, too. He always has. He’s never trusted you because he’s always known your true potential, your true purpose. Why do you think he sent your friend to bring you home, why do you think he’s never allowed you to leave in the first place? He’s scared of you. You, a being of pure darkness, capable of forging the X-blade.”

“He knows?” Vanitas asks, and Xehanort shrugs.

“He believes you to be the side of light, but for how long?”

There’s a storm brewing over Vanitas’s head as Xehanort speaks, heading thunder above him and wind begin to pick up all around him. Lightning zaps directly in front of his face as he pulls himself up.

“I always knew… He wouldn’t care about me if he found out my secret. Was that all it was, him keeping tabs on me?”

“Of course. Eraqus is blinded by his obsession with the light. He’ll never accept you, even if you and Ventus rejoin together. You will never be safe so long as he’s around.”

Vanitas stumbles as he gets to his feet, and Xehanort holds his hand up towards him. Suddenly an aggressive wind picks up, threatening to knock him right back down. “Go! You can ask the man yourself!” Xehanort says, and the wind blows Vanitas into the air, throwing him directly upwards into the storm above him. “Learn the truth, and remember your greater purpose!”

He flies into the storm, just barely managing to summon his armor before he flies into the lanes between, floating around in nothingness. “What am I?” he whispers to himself, feeling his eyes begin to water again. “What has the master been keeping from me all this time?”

He sees the Land of Departure, his home, out of the corner of his eye. Suddenly the urge to cry is gone, replaced with a seething rage that Vanitas recognizes is the darkness trying to rise to the surface and control him. He’s usually good at repressing it, staying in control of his darkness, but instead he lets it rise as he summons Void Gear and flies towards his home.

He lands outside of the large staircase leading to the castle, feeling his heart burn. He stares at the ground, debating what to do, until he hears a voice above him. “Vanitas? You’re alone?” He looks up to see Master Eraqus walking down the stairs to meet him, and he clenches his fists. “I thought Aqua would have-”

Vanitas whips his head up to glare at his Master. “Would have what? Dragged me home, back to your prison?” He demands, and Eraqus’s relieved expression turns to shock.

“What did you hear?”

“That I’m supposed to be some weapon. Some kind of… X-blade!” He snarls, and Eraqus takes a step back. Vanitas’s fists begin to shroud in darkness, and this time, he doesn’t bother to hide it.

“I knew it. Xehanort could never let it go…” Eraqus says, mostly to himself, as Vanitas glares at him, angrier than he’s ever been in his entire life. “He gave me these scars when I confronted him about falling into darkness… It’s the same darkness I see in you, now. I failed to stop him that day, but… I will not fail again.”

Eraqus summons his Keyblade, and Vanitas mirrors the action. “What are you going to do, Master?” Vanitas demands, allowing the darkness to rise for the first time since he’d been separated from Ventus.

“Forgive me, Vanitas, but I cannot allow Xehanort to forge the X-blade, and I certainly cannot leave you alone knowing you are the dark side of that union. You must exist no more!”

Eraqus summons a beam of light, and for some reason, Vanitas freezes. He’d been hell bent on fighting Eraqus, maybe even  _ killing  _ him, but seeing the man who had raised him send a fatal shot towards him causes Vanitas to freeze dead,realizing that not a single person he knows will accept him as he is.

No one except-

“Vanitas!” he hears a familiar voice call, blocking Eraqus’s shot. Vanitas’s heart drops as he sees Terra standing in front of Eraqus’s line of attack, armor clad and angry.

“What?” Eraqus whispers.

“Master, have you gone mad?!” Terra demands, voice shaking with anger.

“He will end all the worlds as we know it, Terra! Step aside!”

“I won’t!”

Eraqus looks deeply saddened by this, and Vanitas just stands, shocked, watching.

“He is a being of pure darkness, and he must be eliminated!” Eraqus argues, grasping his Keyblade tightly, but Terra shakes his head.

“Darkness doesn’t equate to evil. You’d kill your own pupil out of fear of the unknown?!” Terra demands, and Vanitas notices the familiar dark shroud around Terra’s fist.  _ The darkness… It’s getting to Terra, too.  _

_ He understands. _

Vanitas takes a step forward to touch Terra’s shoulder. “Just keep it under control,” he whispers, and Terra nods.

Eraqus hears this, too, eyes filling with rage. “If you don’t have it in your heart to obey… You will have to share Vanitas’s fate.”

Eraqus sheds a single tear as he rushes forward, Keyblade clashing with Terra’s. Vanitas watches them fight before having a shaking realization, out of nowhere.

“Terra, stop! He’s right!”

“Quiet!” Terra snaps, taking Vanitas aback.

“I don’t want the worlds to fall to darkness because of me-” Vanitas starts, just as Eraqus summons another beam of light, shooting it at Vanitas and Terra. Terra manages to block it, but it hits Vanitas head-on, tossing him back and making his vision hazy. His eyes droop closed as he does his best to stay conscious, feeling Terra lift his body from the ground.

“You may be my master…” Terra starts, and Vanitas can see the darkness beginning the surround Terra’s entire body. Vanitas’s heart begins to race as he can tell the darkness is beginning to take control of Terra, and he mumbles in an attempt to tell Terra to hold it together. Bad things happen when the darkness takes over, he knows that better than anyone. Darkness doesn’t equate to evil, but if you lose control of it and it takes over, it’ll use you for it’s own agenda. Vanitas knows this. “But I will not let you hurt my friend!”

“Has the darkness taken you, Terra?!” Eraqus demands, readying his blade.

_ This is bad. _

Terra steps back, opening a portal to the lanes between, and Vanitas realizes his plan immediately.

“Terra, no…” he mumbles, but Terra ignores him.  _ You need to stay in control. Please. _

Terra throws Vanitas rather carelessly into the portal, Vanitas still hazy from Eraqus’s attack. He tries to pull himself up as he watches Terra embrace the darkness, his heart racing. “Terra… You have to stay in control!”

Terra readies himself to fight Eraqus, and Vanitas watches their Keyblades crash as the portal closes in front of him.

_ Please… Just stay in control. _

_ You have to stay in control, Terra. _

_ Please. _


	4. Chapter 4

_Forgiveness | Rain | Dreams_

 

The portal shoots Vanitas out onto a sunny island.

He stands as the portal disappears, trying to run back into it as he calls out for Terra.

He’s about to summon his Keyblade Armor when a voice speaks from above him, causing him to whip around.

“Where are you going?”

He looks up to see the blonde boy-  _ Ventus,  _ Xehanort had called him- staring down at him from a bridge above him.

“What do you care?” Vanitas asks, turning to storm off, but the boy says something that makes him stop dead before he can.

“Because we’re the same,” Ventus says, sending a chill down Vanitas’s spine. Xehanort had shown him the same, in the memory he’d triggered in Vanitas when they’d met last. Ventus is the light side of him, Ventus is the reason Vanitas lives his life as a being of pure darkness, the reason Eraqus had tried to eliminate him. And now Terra is fighting Eraqus, and there’s no chance they’ll both make it out…

Vanitas sighs, summoning his Keyblade. “Xehanort told me that the two of us have to fight to forge the X-blade,” he says, staring up at Ventus before sending it away. “I won’t do that. He’s the reason all of this happened, isn’t it? Without him… We wouldn’t be apart. I wouldn’t have had to run away for fear of being killed. I won’t fight you.”

Ventus looks panicked at this. He’s given Vanitas no reason to even  _ want  _ to fight him, despite his annoyance and frustration with their separation. Ventus leaps down from the bridge, walking towards Vanitas stiffly until they’re standing face to face, and Ventus laughs.

“You don’t get it. We have to fight. We don’t have a choice.”

“We always have a choice,” Vanitas argues, and Ventus shakes his head, looking manically amused.

The boy summons his own Keyblade, lashing out at Vanitas once, and Vanitas stops him. “We have to fight. We have to join together.”

“What are you doing?!” Vanitas demands as Ventus slashes at him again. “If we fight, it could start an apocalypse! Is that what you want?!”

“ _ I want to stop hurting!”  _ Ventus screams back, his voice breaking, slashing once more at Vanitas, who sidesteps, sending Ventus falling to the ground with a yelp, immediately putting his hands over his ears and shaking. “I just want to  _ stop hurting!” _

Vanitas sends Void Gear away before stepping forward, bending down and placing a hand on Ventus’s back until the boy stops shaking. “What happened to you?”

“I have… All your memories. I kept all the bad, and without any darkness in me… I can’t handle it. Xehanort told me if we fight, if we rejoin together, it’ll stop. I won’t have to deal with this anymore. I  _ can’t  _ deal with this anymore.”

_ He’s hurting because of me, _ Vanitas says, feeling the sudden urge to pull Ventus into a hug. He doesn’t, instead choosing to stand up and sigh. “Look, whatever happened in my past… It’ll be okay. I’m sorry Xehanort did this to you, but we can’t let him get the X-blade. We have to stop him. I can help you. Will you let me?”

He holds his hand out, and Ventus turns his head to look up. The blonde boy stares at it for a few moments, tenderly reaching out for it, filling Vanitas with hope. But, on a dime, he stops, pulling his hand back and jumping to his feet, away from Vanitas. Ventus’s hands fly up to his head and he squeezes his eyes closed. “He says I have to kill Aqua.”

“ _ What?”  _ Vanitas demands, as Ventus begins rapidly shaking his head, looking as though he’s fighting off writhing pain.

“Xehanort, he says… He says I have to kill Aqua. At the Keyblade Graveyard. And if I don’t, he’ll… I have to go.”

Ventus turns and takes off, and Vanitas gives chase, wanting to demand to know what the Hell is going on, but Ventus escapes into a portal before he can, leaving Vanitas on the island alone.

_ He says Ventus has to kill Aqua. _

_ I can’t let that happen. _

Vanitas turns on his heels, diving into a portal to the lanes between, setting off for the Keyblade Graveyard.

 

* * *

 

Vanitas arrives shortly after Terra.

He sees Terra make it over to Aqua as the two of them watch him approach, clenching his fists as he walks.

He makes it to them as Aqua stares down at him, though he can’t bring himself to look up at her.

“I was told… The Master was struck down,” she says, and Terra hesitates before speaking.

“Yes… That’s right. I was stupid, and I helped Xehanort do it.” Aqua gasps, and Terra continues. “The Master… He tried to hurt Vanitas. I only fought because I wanted to protect him. But I was tricked… Xehanort set the whole thing up. All so he could awaken the darkness inside me. You were right, Aqua. And so was the Master. I did need to be watched. I went astray… But no more.”

Vanitas’s heart sinks as he looks up at Terra, blinking away the tears in his eyes. “You let the darkness take control, didn’t you?”

Terra and Aqua both look surprised at his words, but he doesn’t say anything else.

“What else is darkness but hate and rage?”

Vanitas’s head whips up to look at her, feeling such a strong anger he’s never felt before. Impulsively, he summons his Keyblade, readying himself to fight her. He wants to knock her to the ground, taint her heart with darkness, make her  _ understand- _

And that’s when it clicks. The Darkness can’t be controlled, only subdued.

_ Aqua will never accept me. _

_ But she’s right. The darkness is evil. I can’t deny that any more. _

“Vanitas, I didn’t-” she starts, clearly seeing the anger in his eyes.

“It’s okay, I understand. I think you may be right,” he says, shaking his head. “I’m a creature of complete Darkness, and all I’ve done is bring everyone I love pain. Terra, I’m sorry for making you believe that the Darkness could be controlled. Aqua, I’m sorry I made you think I hated you, I’m sorry for running away. I should have listened. And Ventus… He’s suffering  _ so  _ badly with whatever memories he has of mine from before Xehanort cleared my mind of them. I must have done some awful things for him to be suffering that badly… And Xehanort, he wants me and Ventus to fight. Forge some kind of X-blade, but the Master said we can’t let that happen, and I won’t disobey him again. He tried to destroy me to keep me from doing it, and I should have let him.”

“X-blade?” Aqua asks, and Vanitas looks down at the ground. “I still don’t know exactly what it is,” he admits, “But it scares me to death, even just the thought of it.”

“Relax, Vanitas. We’re here, and we’re gonna take care of you.”

Terra places a hand on Vanitas’s shoulder, and he pulls away quickly, looking up at his two friends whose lives he’s ruined just by existing.

“I think I have to fight Ventus no matter what, for everyone’s sake. And if I do, I want you to-”

“The three of us can never be torn apart, alright?” Terra interrupts him, placing a hand on his shoulder again, and Vanitas feels that same angry feeling coming back.  _ Would you just listen to me?!  _ “I’ll always find a way.”

“You don’t get it!” Vanitas snaps, throwing his hand away and doing his best to ignore the hurt on his friend’s face. “I’m asking you as a friend. Just… Put an end to me.”

Terra and Aqua gasp, and Vanitas’s chest stings.  _ This is what needs to be done. _

Terra and Aqua don’t get a chance to respond before a strong wind picks up, all three of them turning to see Xehanort and Ventus approach them.

“Behold…” Xehanort says, gesturing out at the Keyblades all around them. “These lifeless keys used to be full of power, united with the hearts of their masters. On this barren soil, Keyblades of light and darkness were locked in combat as a great Keyblade War raged!”

At the mention of the Keyblade War, Ventus hands fly up to his ears again, the same way they had on the Island the two of them had talked at.

“Countless Keyblade wielders gave up their lives, all in search of one ultimate key. And it will soon belong to me.”

Ventus drops to his knees, and Vanitas decides he’s had enough. Xehanort has tortured his friends for long enough, and despite being personified darkness, he won’t stand to see the man who’s made his life hell destroy another kid who’s done  _ nothing wrong. _

He summons his armor, as Terra and Aqua do the same. Vanitas rushes forward to Ventus, but Terra’s faster. Just as Terra takes off, Xehanort laughs, summoning a pillar from the ground and using it to throw Terra into the air.

Vanitas and Aqua both call after him, as Xehanort takes off, leaving Ventus to stand and summon his Keyblade, lashing out at Vanitas immediately. Vanitas hardly manages to deflect the hit as Aqua takes off after Terra, leaving the two halves of each other to fight on the ground.

“What are you doing?!” Vanitas demands, as Ventus fights him with tear soaked cheeks and nothing except fierce determination in his eyes. “You’re giving him exactly what he wants!”

“I’m doing what needs to be done!” Ventus screams back, though his attacks are sloppy, fueled by too much emotion. Vanitas knows he could take him down easily, but he doesn’t want to. He’s desperate for Ventus to just stop and  _ think.  _ “I’m going to stop the hurting! I have to!”

“I can help you!” Vanitas yells as their Keyblades collide again.

“You can help me by joining with me! You can help me by forging that God forsaken X-blade!”

“I won’t!” Vanitas screams, knocking Ventus down to the ground as the boy coughs. “I’ll deal with this the right way. I can save you, too!”

He takes off before Ventus has a chance to pull him back into battle, running up the pillar Xehanort had made and setting his sights on the old man about to kill his friend. He manages to stop him, saving Terra, but Xehanort just laughs. He knocks Vanitas to the ground, grabbing him by the head and holding him up with extraordinary strength for an old man. He struggles, trying to escape Xehanort’s grasp, before being made completely immobile. He can hear Aqua calling to him, but he can’t move. He’s frozen.

Xehanort drops him off the side of the pillar, and though he’s terrified, part of Vanitas wishes he’d just die on the way down. Of course Aqua would never let that happen, rushing to catch him before his entire body shatters.

His helmet breaks on the way down, and he’s forced to stare up at her without being able to move a muscle or even respond when she asks if he’s okay. 

Xehanort summons a ball of light, and Vanitas is forced to watch as the clouds spread apart, a large heart shaped moon coming from the sky.

_ Kingdom Hearts. _

“Why don’t you leave the popsicle to me?” a voice asks, and Vanitas has thawed enough to be able to turn his head to see the newcomer. It’s a man he’s never seen before, wearing an eyepatch covering an eye with a scar across it. Aqua doesn’t seem to recognize him, either, and Vanitas glares at him, knowing full well this man is not an ally. “So you can go have your little fight with Terra? You can’t be too happy about him deep-sixing your Master.”

“Who are you?!” Aqua demands.

He doesn’t answer her question, just continues on his ramble. “You two think you’ve got some grand role to play. As if. You’re only here so when I finish you off, Terra will succumb to the darkness. So who wants to go first?”

Vanitas manages to speak at this, the darkness inside him swelling. “Shut up!”

“Oh, so this kid thinks he’s a full-fledged Keyblade Wielder? He’s got the angry look down. Or maybe that’s just the uncontrollable darkness in you.”

“Go ahead if you wanna waste your time. Keep trying to drive us apart with your mind games, it’ll never work!”

“So you mean to tell me you’re not the least bit scared of Darkness Incarnate there? Even after seeing what his influence did to your friend Terra?”

“Terra fell to darkness on his own accord, but he managed to find his way back to the path of light. And Vanitas may be a creature of Darkness, but he’s my friend, and he is  _ not  _ evil. Unlike you.”

“I have to respectfully disagree,” the man says, and Aqua sets Vanitas down gently before standing, summoning her own Keyblade, and taking off towards him.

They fight for a while as Vanitas is forced to do nothing but watch. Finally, after an excruciating battle, Aqua beats him, and he stumbles backwards. “I keep forgetting not to mess with Keyblade Wielders! But you know what? That just means I made the right choice! Well, he wanted me to buy time, and I’d say he got it.”

“What?!” Aqua demands, but the man is already taking off. She turns quickly, probably to make sure Vanitas is okay, and that’s when he sees it.

Ventus, flying down from the pillar, Keyblade in hand.

“Aqua, look out!” Vanitas calls, and she turns just as Ventus strikes her down.

Ventus stands above her, ready to extract her heart, and that’s all Vanitas needs.

He groans as he forces the ice to melt away, slowly pulling himself to his feet. “ _ NO!”  _ He screams, and Ventus turns to look at him. He doesn’t say a word, his eyes look completely dead, and he just turns his Keyblade on Vanitas as if it’s the most boring thing in the world. He wonders if Ventus has been broken beyond repair, but it’s too late for that. It’s fight, or Aqua will die.

And they do. Vanitas fights with all he has, and this time, they don’t talk. He doesn’t try to convince Ventus to stop, to betray his Master. He just fights.

He lets the darkness take over, blinded by rage, by frustration, by fear. He doesn’t care about the X-blade anymore.

He only cares about Terra and Aqua.

He’s nearly taken Ventus down when suddenly the boy breaks out into maniacal laughter, looking up at Vanitas with wide eyes. “You’ve done it, Vanitas. Now that my body is about to perish… You and I will have to join together.”

“You need to stop, Ventus! We can fix this, it’s not too late for you! For all of us!”

Ventus shakes his head as a ring of shadows surrounds Vanitas, and before he can blink, several small Unversed are clutching to him, holding him down in place as Ventus approaches. “The Unversed… Come from you?! _ ”  _ He demands, and Ventus shakes his head.

“No, they come from  _ you. _ ”

He gasps, looking up at Ventus, wide-eyed. “That’s not possible.”

“We’re the same, you and I. The unversed come from your negative emotions, and since I come from you, I learned to control them. But every single one of them has spawned from your negativity. I found out about it pretty quickly, and Xehanort wasted no time in making me use them to fight you, so you could become stronger and we could fight. And whenever one of them is destroyed, their negativity goes right back to you, so there’s an infinite amount of them. You’ve been fighting against yourself this whole time. Now you know how it feels.”

And with that, Ventus walks directly into Vanitas, bringing them to somewhere Vanitas is unfamiliar with, though comforted by. He looks down at the ground, seeing him and Ventus pictured there.  _ Is this… My heart? Our heart? _

Ventus stares at him, studying, with an unfamiliar Keyblade in his hand.  _ Is that the X-blade? _

“We need to join together, Vanitas, can’t you see that?” Ventus asks, and Vanitas sighs, shaking his head and summoning Void Gear.

“I gave you as many chances as I could, Ventus. I really,  _ really  _ tried. And if you won’t listen… I’ll just have to destroy it. Maybe even you.”

And with that, Ventus lunges forward.

They fight until Vanitas is near exhausted. Ventus had gotten stronger over the weeks, and he puts up one hell of a fight. But with his Darkness fully unhinged, Vanitas bests him easily.

He knocks the X-blade out of Ventus’s hands sending it flying away. Vanitas manages to summon it towards him, and he studies it, incomplete. He hates it, this stupid weapon that’s caused him and his friends nothing but grief. As he stares at it, he notices Ventus standing there on the verge of a breakdown, muttering something to himself over and over again that Vanitas manages to piece together as “he’s gonna kill us both.”

Vanitas approaches Ventus, dropping the X-blade onto the ground and putting his hands on either of the blonde boy’s shoulders. “Not if we fight back. Ventus, you have to listen to me. He can’t hurt you unless you let him. All you have to do is take that power away from him, and he won’t be able to hurt you anymore. Please, just  _ let me help you.” _

Ventus stares up at him with glassy eyes, not speaking a word, clearly running through a thousand scenarios in his head. “I want to stop hurting,” he says, words Vanitas has heard from him multiple times now, but now finally understanding.

“I know. I do, too. And the only way to do that is to help each other. What do you say?”

He holds out his hand, hoping,  _ praying  _ for Ventus to take it.

But he doesn’t.

Instead, he rushes forward, pulling Vanitas into a tight hug and fully breaking down.

Vanitas hugs him back, letting him cry until the blonde boy pulls his head out of Vanitas’s shoulder and looks up at him.

“I’m sorry, for everything I’ve done.”

“Hey, forgiveness is a part of friendship,” Vanitas says, summoning the X-blade back into his hands. “First things first, though,” he says, tossing it into the air and using Void Gear to smash it into pieces on it’s way down. Ventus looks heartbroken at this, his entire life’s work being shattered before his eyes, but Vanitas knows it’s for the best. Ventus can recognize this as well, looking down at the ground and nodding.

“Right. Now what?”

Vanitas holds his hand out, Ventus takes it, and the two of them set back for the Keyblade Graveyard.

 

* * *

 

It’s raining when they get back.

The world is empty, Vanitas can’t sense a single presence.

“How long were we gone?” Ventus asks, and Vanitas doesn’t answer, just sets out looking for Aqua and Terra.

He doesn’t find them, though he does run into someone.

A stranger, someone he’s never met before, but he seems to know Vanitas.

“I was waiting for you to get back.”

“Who are you?” He asks, kneeling down to the stranger’s height.

“My name’s Mickey. I’m the king of Disney Castle, training under Master Yen Sid. I befriended your friend Aqua a little while ago, and I’ve been waiting for you to get back to we can help her together.”

“Help her?” Ventus asks, reading Vanitas’s mind. “What happened to her?”

Mickey sighs, clearly settling in for a story.

“Your friend Terra, he embraced the darkness, but it took over him, and he accidentally allowed Xehanort to expel his heart from his body and possess it. I don’t know what happened, but he left, leaving his armor behind, and ended up in Radiant Garden. Aqua followed him there, and I was too late to save her. Xehanort, possessing Terra’s body, almost fell to darkness, but Aqua saved him. By doing that, though, she… Fell into the darkness herself. I fear she’s ended up in the Dark Realm, and there’s no way out of the Dark Realm from that side. So, I was hoping you would be willing to help me find her. Save her. Though it may take a while.”

Vanitas stands there, shocked, unable to form words. Terra, possessed by Xehanort, and Aqua fallen to the darkness…  _ This is all my fault. _

“Of course. I won’t let my friends suffer because of me.”

He’s heartbroken, all he wants to do is cry. His heart feels like it’s about to burst out of his chest because the fates of his friends were  _ all his fault,  _ but something about the presence of Ventus’s light beside him makes him stop, fills him with a certain determination he’s never felt before. So he stands, nods, and takes Ventus’s hand for comfort. “Right. Let’s go, then.”

 

_ Missing | Stars | Touch _

 

Mickey wasn’t kidding when he said it would take a while. Ventus and Vanitas focus on Aqua because of Vanitas’s resistance to the darkness, and Mickey focuses on Terra, knowing he’d be a better bet for the matters of Radiant Garden.

Ventus and Vanitas spend most of their time travelling, looking for any way into the realm of darkness. They travel for days, months,  _ years,  _ and find nothing. However, Vanitas is nothing if not determined, and Ventus is as supportive as support goes. They make a good team.

Ventus often wakes up from nightmares and Vanitas is forced to rush in and calm him down. After a while of their friendship, Ventus had managed to finally open up about their memories, letting Vanitas in on what had happened before they were split. Because of this, Vanitas has a far easier time with comforting Ventus after his nightmares, though Ventus often asks him to stay with him as he falls back asleep.

He always does.

It gets to a point where Vanitas just started sleeping with Ventus  _ before  _ they both fall asleep for the night, and Ventus’s nightmares turn to dreams rather quickly after that.

Ventus offers his own comfort to Vanitas in the form of touch. Holding hands mostly, though it turns to hugs quickly despite Vanitas’s usual disdain for them. After a few months it turns to kisses, the first one under a blanket of stars as they talk about their pasts, and their futures. Ventus had become the only form of stability and comfort in Vanitas’s usually dark life, and despite going completely down the hole of believing himself to be the sole source of suffering for everyone around him. Ventus teaches him that darkness doesn’t equate to evil, and for the first time in his life, Vanitas finds himself believing it.

Falling in love with Ventus was, in truth, the best thing that could have happened to Vanitas. After all the hell they’d been through, both together and opposing each other, Vanitas figures he deserves a bit of light in his life. Ventus had spent his entire life missing Vanitas, and now that they’d found each other, both of them could finally be happy.

And, in turn, they’ll find Terra and Aqua, and everything will be okay.

_ I’m sure of it. _


End file.
